5 Things to Help When You Wake Up Feeling PISSY

Today I woke up feeling “PISSY”.  Why is this even relevant? Well, because it came with a very old, yet familiar pattern.  The very pattern I wish to interrupt and to help others interrupt. The very pattern that serves no good….. especially if we fail to take notice… to take offense and work so very hard to banish it to the depths of HELL.  So far, not a successful endeavor… so I discovered today.

Here’s the pattern….Something happens that leaves me feeling less than awesome (or I just wake up that way - like today).  In the past, I would attempt to muster up some PMA. I was introduced to PMA back in the 90’s at a conference. You know the one, where you think you’re going to meet the infamous “Brian Tracy” or “Tony Robbins” and instead some imposter plays video captions of his lessons.  Ok, maybe it only happened to me…. “Positive Mental Attitude”... What a crock of shit! I remember thinking every time I stood in front of the mirror telling myself how awesome I was.Back to my pattern….  And fast forward to 2020….  I start with reminding myself of all the things I have to be grateful for (so far so good)......  Ahhh!! but the landslide of self deprecation follows quickly behind. No sooner does GRATITUDE cross my mind, and the berating inner voice of negativity and seething self doubt cements itself solidly in my mind.Next, I move on to the wonderful people in my life…. and my dear Riley.  The excitement over my first Photography Retreat coming this weekend… so many things to be grateful for…. And yet it conjures up a self loathing I keep thinking I’ve finally buried, only to discover it waiting patiently under the surface…. Waiting for that moment… that moment of weakness… self pity…  It’s my “Who Do You Think You Are?” voice. Marissa Peer famously coins it as our “I’m not enough” belief.I wish I could tell you that I moved through it quickly.  Ugh! It was painful in the realization that the underlying truth was this.  If my purpose is so centered around helping others show up as their very best self, how can I not be there every moment, every day..  And there it is!.... My strive for perfection, for the impossible! The idea that authenticity requires superhuman power. My very own kryptonite that I carry deep down inside.It got me thinking.  What is it that gets me through these moments?  How might my own plight help others? Let me start with this very transparent DISCLAIMER….  

• Not one thing works all of the time 
• Sometimes it means going back again and again.  
• And sometimes... It really SUCKS - like today!  

It certainly beats the alternative… staying stuck… giving up… regret.. So here goes!

#1 Practice Gratitude

• This isn’t just the flavour of the week, or the latest fad.  Lots of very smart, very successful and most importantly, very HAPPY people give credit to this.  I have found that in focusing on the good things in my life and the world, my thoughts seldom go to the dark side.  If you struggle with creating new habits like I do,  “The FIVE-MINUTE JOURNAL” was super helpful in making this a daily practice. Here’s what I wrote in that very journal on July 7, 2019….  "I am grateful for my life exactly as it is at this moment”.  Guess what, that's still true today!

#2 Realize!  Re-frame!  Reset

I learn more every day, every lesson I share… about my own self-awareness, cognitive bias, self-talk, and how it can hinder each of us in showing up as our very best selves.  I am constantly reminded that this too is a practice, not a destination toward perfection.  REALIZE when your thoughts, your beliefs, your practices aren’t serving you.  RE-FRAME negative, hindering thoughts into supportive, self-loving thoughts. RESET each time you return to your old ways and FORGIVE yourself. Be THANKFUL to yourself for noticing.

#3 STOP the Fight!

Sometimes you just need to give in.  Not GIVE UP, but give in to whatever it is you might be fighting.  For me this meant professional support, someone outside of my personal circle of amazing friends.  It might mean trying and trying again until you find the right person.  It took a few efforts, a few different faces, to help me understand how the walls around my heart were hindering, not helping me.  And then, seeking therapy when I was in a really good place, provided a new lens to look through, to see all that was before me, all that was possible, if I simply followed my heart.

#4 Cry!  Sob! Bawl your eyes out…

I still find myself fighting back the tears especially in the presence of others.  It’s one of my most stubborn belief systems yet to be diminished, “Never let them see you cry”.   But I know the trick! REALIZE! Re-frame! Reset! 

#5 Surround Yourself with Amazing People

When I say amazing, I mean people who really LOVE YOU WELL.  People who will hold you up. People who will be by your side when you fall and as you claw your way back.  May you experience the kind of love, support, confidence and “KICK IN THE ASS” kind of people I am so gratefully surrounded.Perhaps my greatest lesson continues to be that, "Life is a journey and a privilege".  My role is simply to live my best life, to allow myself to show up as my very best each day….AND....  To be enough in that moment in time.I’d love to hear your greatest lesson and how it helps you show up as your very best.  Share with me right here.