How to Rekindle Your Soul Through Listening
NOTE: To give context to the below, it is “Chapter 13 - A Soul Rekindled”, from my incomplete and unpublished book - I’ve Come Undone.
Little did I know that the true journey I was about to embark on was also just beginning and it is so very fitting that I would share these precious and soul awakening days with my dearest, truest soul friend.
She and I slowly drifted apart in our final year of highschool, having sporadic contact in the years following, yet we remained in each other’s hearts always. When we did reconnect, it was magical… the years melted away as if just catching up on last weekend’s events. …. you know the kind of friend ….In shouldering the blame for those lost years, I unleashed a torrid of self-incrimination for all of my ungratefulness, for all that I SHOULD have done. Alas…. this became one of my greatest lessons in shedding regret, living in the moment, and being thankful for what is, versus dwelling on what might have been.IF YOU SEE YOU in this…. with all of my heart, all of my power…. I implore you…. do whatever it takes to move to a place where you are simply grateful for what is and your lessons learned. Fight with all your might to eliminate the word “should”, the thought “I should” or worse yet “I should have” from your mind. It's far from easy depending on how astray you are, but I promise you…. as it is for me…. the essential ingredient to my healing, to my journey. I promise I’ll share more about this later.As I relive this part of my journey, I am reminded of just how far I have come. While I invite you along, remember.... this is not an antidote or prescription for you to follow.... I lay no claim to expert advice.... Simply and genuinely, I share my story and leave it to you to decipher the pieces that most call to your heart…. to your soul.
My Journey
My belief system had started to shift somewhere in the previous three years or so. At first, it was a subtle shift and in reality, I suppose it was more waking up from a long sleep. In my teens, I had been a staunch atheist, a non-believer of anything spiritual. I had been tainted by the hypocrisy of religion, embracing a level of disdain toward it in my formative years. At the same time, I had a secret interest in native cultures, their ancestral spirit world, and healing practices. In my twenties, I ventured to confess to my closest friends that this spirit world, this ancient belief system made more sense to me than Religion.Jump ahead to my adventure to the Yukon and the relation to spirituality. My mind was opening to new possibilities through a series of encounters with yoga and holistic practitioners, revealing the realm of energy and our ability to heal ourselves. And then, the deeply meaningful experience.... she…. sharing her gift with me... I am beyond grateful for how it opened my heart, my soul…. my mind was piqued by some deeply buried memory…. I was intrigued…. I wanted to learn more…. I wanted to experience more. Frankly, I was hooked, and of this, I am wholly convinced began my awakening to the guidance, the love, and abundance the universe provides…. IF ONLY WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO LISTEN.
Ignore Your Fear
Now, if you’re anything like I “used to be”, your stomach just clenched. It might be disdain, it might be doubt.... the hair on the back of your neck might be tingling, or maybe there’s a tugging at your heart. If you’re especially like I used to be, you will shut it all down and maybe even HUFF or ROLL YOUR EYES. But WAIT….If you’re still reading and I hope you are, regardless of what experience you just had…. I say.... Congratulations! You may have just taken a step forward…. opened yourself just a little more to the abundant possibilities. Most importantly…. you ignored your FEAR. Now of course some of you didn’t’ even give it a second thought and of that, I remain just a little envious. There is such power in finally recognizing what has mostly held you back, is fear, and while I wish the opposite were true; the hard part has really just begun. Well, at least it was for me.I have always found great healing and escape in the arms of Mother Nature and some of her best work resides in the Yukon. If you can relate…. if you’ve ever been…. you know what I mean and if you haven’t been…. perhaps she’s calling to you now.During this pivotal visit I began to learn not only to LISTEN but also how…. to listen to my heart, my body, my soul. For the record, I didn’t figure it all out at once and it is a journey that continues. It’s impossible to put words to what occurred and we each have our own experience.
REMEMBER…. I was in the hands of someone I trusted unconditionally….. Without a doubt, I would not have allowed myself to “feel and believe” if not for her presence.
Your Journey
Wherever you may be in your own journey I share these simple thoughts of encouragement…. Open your HEART…. Quiet your MIND…. Don’t try too HARD…. Don’t try at all…. JUST BE… and go along for the ride, wherever it may take you.You know what? I’ve always been great at giving advice, encouraging people to do what feels right. Now, I can read what I’ve written and know that I’m living my truth. It’s not that I don’t falter. It’s not that I’m always perfect but…. I always NOTICE and ADJUST my PATH.
While I lay on the table in this spectacular room, releasing, letting it just happen…. I BEGIN TO HEAL. Like so many who have come before, there is no going back from this place. I have a new lease, a new perspective not just on life…. but on who I am and who I am intended to be.
Of this I know…. she will shake her head in denial and remind me…. I made the journey…. but without this friend…. without this soul that loves me like no one else…. I know absolutely…. I WOULD NOT HAVE MADE THIS JOURNEY. And for that, I am eternally grateful… for she opened her heart and soul to me so that I could open mine again.We are two years later and as I write these words, tears stream down my face. This is one of those moments of pure joy, pure bliss, pure truth dare I say again….I am eternally grateful for our bond of friendship. (I cried again today, reading my writing of 3 years ago).My heart and soul expanded further still in our adventure canoeing down the Yukon River, crossing Lake Laberge, spending a night of unbridled laughter and joy not felt in forever. Of course, there was wine, well…. a lot of wine. Wine on the way down the river. Wine with dinner. Wine on the beach under the sun till the wee hours. Wine in the cabin watching the sunset for its momentary rest, quickly rising again at 3:00 am. No surprise to any of you…. waking up wasn’t quite so jovial and active.
While I wouldn’t describe myself as a world traveler, I have seen more than many. Of all the places I have been, the Yukon sits among the best. There is no greater experience than the meditative waters of a glacial blue and green remote waterway and to return to a rustic cabin nestled on the shores. If this sounds surreal, it is. It’s not for everyone, but it was exactly what I needed. That and the company of my dear friend. Only with a friend that knows you better than you know yourself, can you find a way to laugh from your soul…. cry not just for sadness but for joy…. and find the little piece of yourself you didn’t remember existed.That’s truly what happened. Those ten days in paradise…. I rediscovered a piece of me, the real me, that so badly wanted to be found. From this point, I truly never looked back. Even with tougher times yet ahead, I had reached my fundamental self, and it would carry me through the worst of my journey.And so I returned home and it seems so fitting to share the words I wrote in my journal on that day:June 13, 2016Feeling like my soul has truly been rekindled…….I'd love to hear about your own journey, whatever road it may have taken you down. Share hereIf you enjoy my musings, here are some other blogs you will find worthy of reading.