Why I am Okay with Missed Opportunity

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.”                                      – Fulton Oursler

As a photographer, I understand clearly the implications of not having my camera with me. I risk missing a great photo, maybe even a once in a lifetime “National Geographic” worthy photo... I used to hope so anyway. So why after all these years, did I leave it at home AGAIN, on this day?What did I miss? Well, Hugh and I were walking our usual route with Riley above our place, when she suddenly bolted…… straight toward a beautiful black bear.  No need to worry!  She recalled without the bear in tow. Actually, the bear appeared pretty nonchalant about the whole ordeal, especially when you consider our later discovery.She was not alone. Nope…. we discovered 2 blonde cubs snuggling with their momma.Driving home, I started to wonder how many opportunities had I missed in my lifetime? How many times had something been right there in front of me and I’d either missed it or worse yet, ignored that gnawing feeling deep down, telling me…. warning me… begging me to notice?

A moment missed today is a moment lost forever…

Is that true, I wonder? Memories don’t come flooding back when I pose the thought. There is no immediate threat of regret or anxious anticipation of what might have been. Nope, even when I close my eyes in an effort to recall….Hmmm…. What does it mean? Have I truly lived a life without a missed opportunity? This I know, cannot be. While the moments I have missed may not appear swiftly before me, I am reminded of a time when I failed to be truly present for many.  Ahhh…. there it is, my moment of regret. I wrote a blog claiming to have lived a life without regret.Does that make me a fraud… or worse yet…. take away my authenticity, the thing I desire most to hang onto?In an effort to recall specific occurrences, I discover lucid memories. A script plays in my mind, vivid pictures of family events, daily encounters…. wandering through life without purpose, without pause, without being. YES! There have been missed opportunities…. moments lost forever….I suppose my attention wanes, not because those moments didn’t matter…. but because I have reflected, drawn my lesson and moved on. There are countless memories, experiences to cherish…. so many, that some have long been forgotten.At the same time, there is one nagging circumstance…. after all these years, popping into my mind now and again….

What is my missed opportunity, the one I cannot escape?

I did not say goodbye… I did not understand the significance of your presence in my life and it continues to astound me all these years past. My friend, my boss, my mentor…. Tim…. oh how I cherish the moments we did share….. and perhaps my life conviction has become the greatest of all lessons, the lasting belief you shared with me...

“Don't live your life regretting yesterday. Live your life so tomorrow you won't regret today.”                                                – Catherine Pulsifer

I did not intend to reminisce about such things…. It is what makes a glorious experience, sharing my thoughts, lessons, moments in time…. simply allowing the words to flow from my thoughts, my memories.Now I return to where my story began, this musing on a missed opportunity. Whether you are prone to have a camera in hand….. it matters not.

Here’s how I created an extraordinary opportunity instead:

The drive home is short…. I contemplate my return with the camera in hand or should I simply relish in the glory of mother nature… On this day, I choose to return despite the likeliness she will have moved on, taken her cubs to a safer haven without the interruption of voices and dogs.In the end, momma and her cubs are nestled down, sleeping peacefully. Rest assured…. I am a safe distance, careful to never once cause concern. The moments that follow leave me breathless…. days later, I continue to revel in the serenity…. the magnificence I was permitted to observe...For this was the moment not to be missed. While on the first site of this beautiful bear, I had immediate regret for leaving my camera behind…. for missing out on such a gift….. What followed was beyond compare, for I would never have shared 45 minutes mesmerized by her brilliance, her ease.What began (so I thought) as a missed opportunity was instead a lesson on embracing new experiences, welcoming greater opportunities…. alas, a reminder…. we always have a choice. Not only did I revel in meditative glory, capturing her cubs awakening from slumber…. heading off to graze through the meadow adorned with balsamroot and other wildflowers….A curious visitor popped in for a brief encounter….. a photo-worthy experience, one that would never have come to be, if not for my 'missed' opportunity. My thinking altered …. a reminder of opportunities seized, some with knowing, others merely by chance?One might ask if I will leave my ‘camera’ at home again? The answer is obvious.... knowing I am likely to gain something beyond any perceived loss. While it may not be clear at the time, eventually I’ll come to appreciate what was indeed gained.Do you have a lost opportunity, a moment you wish to retrieve? My wish is for you to realize the gain beyond that moment or perhaps in spite of it, however difficult it might now seem.If you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear about your missed and gained opportunity. Tell me more….Did you enjoy this article? Here are three more you can read:

How I kicked FEAR in the ASS7 Lessons for My 21-Year-Old SelfNaked, Vulnerable, and Full of Regret