Naked, Vulnerable and Full of Regret
Have you ever been super excited about something, filled with anticipation and build up leading to something BIG…. and then filled with REGRET, ANXIETY and a whole lotta WTF, afterwards?
That was me last week! Yep, I fretted, second guessed myself and COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT! Within hours (mere minutes actually) “Negative Nellie” raised her viscous voice, filled me with self doubt, fear and a whole lot of “who do you think you are?”.
My heart constricted, my stomach ached and I paced like a mad woman (just ask Hugh).
What caused such pandemonium you ask? I hit “SEND”..... I announced to the world (90 people) through my first email list ever, the launch of my website, more specifically MY BLOG.
The moment I had been waiting for, making it real, live and leaving me with a deep sense of “holy shit, what have I done?
Sound a little dramatic? It was for me and I’m so glad that I did it. Here’s why….
#1 FEAR
Fear paralyzes us! It stops us from trying new things, experiencing life, living our dreams. I have allowed fear to keep me from speaking my truth under the ruse of not wanting to hurt someone. Instead I hurt myself by keeping silent, by not using my voice. Fear has kept me from being who I am, who I want to be for long enough.Sometime ago I came across Will Smith’s Here’s What Lies on the Otherside of Fear. Every now and again, I watch it to remind myself…
“The best things in life are on the other side of your maximum fear.”
Will Smith
#2 VULNERABILITY
Like so many, I used to believe being vulnerable meant being weak. I come from the school of hard knocks, no pain no gain, the “never let them see you sweat” (let alone cry) school of life. It took me a long time to realize how insane that notion is, in life, in leadership, in friendship ….. in LOVE. I’d be remiss to talk about learning to be vulnerable and not pay tribute to the queen of vulnerability.
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.”
Brené Brown
#3 REGRET
I’ve had this notion that when I look back on my life, I have no regrets. It is mostly true! My best lessons come from my greatest hardships. I am who I am today because of those lessons and...I REALLY LIKE WHO I AM! My one regret…. Honestly, there isn’t one. I could say “I wish I’d learned my lessons sooner”.. Sure, but instead I choose to go with the belief that this is my path. I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. My choices have led me here and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
#4 MAKING A DIFFERENCE
I have wandered and searched for a very long time, seeking my life’s purpose, my reason for being. It’s not that I wasn’t fulfilling it along the way, I just have a much stronger sense of that purpose. I want to make a difference, to help others, inspire others (women especially) to show up as their very best self… everyday.
#5 THE NAKED TRUTH
I did eventually find my calm again, after the reality of posting my blog(s) for the world to see. I was still talking myself off of the ledge when the first email came in… “I don’t know you very well (yet) but I feel very proud and happy for you. You’ve brought a mere slogan to life: JUST DO IT!”“I would love to learn photography but would need to get a camera first.” followed the very next day with, “ Actually yesterday I was at London Drugs and they had a Canon Camera on sale….so i bought it …”“I gotta say - I think this is simply great! I see lots of stuff like this and usually just blow over it.” “Way to go - I am super proud of you.” Full disclosure - his one’s from my sister, the next one from my mom.“Fantastic!! So proud of you!!!!” And then the clincher…“Just so you know, I have a hard time speaking my truth, I always have, and that quote came at such a relevant time for me, so Thank you!” Hmmm, I take this moment to pause, to reflect and to be grateful for each of you. Friends, family, acquaintances, friends to be and mere strangers that I may never meet. Thank you for reminding me of my purpose, my reason for sharing, for stepping out of my fear and showing up as the best version of myself.I’d love to hear what fear is keeping you from being the best version of you and how you are overcoming it.Share here if you like Photo credit goes to the lovely and talented Pala Mikayla