Perspective Matters - in Life and Photography
“You can’t make one image and decide, “No, I can’t do this; it just doesn’t work.” It’s true that something isn’t working, but it’s not the camera. It’s you. You stopped too soon.”
Virginia is a bitch. There’s no other way to describe ‘her’ when she arrives unannounced, uninvited. ‘Virginia’ was born during our last encounter - a week-long visit of vertigo on what was supposed to be a celebratory winter escape. Hugh aptly named ‘Virginia’ - a means to release our shared frustration with her frequent, unwelcome arrival.
When ‘Virginia’ arrives, it’s in one of two ways - I’ve begun to hope for the second. At her worst, she arrives as she did on New Year’s Day - with vengeance. Before I even open my eyes, I feel her presence. I groan. The 4 letter word my mother has never heard me utter, escapes my lips. I roll out of bed - crawl to the bathroom.
Her less loathing visits allow for limited function, lack of energy to create or connect and a blatant absence of mercy of escape with my camera.
Am I manifesting misery or magic
Perspective is defined as a way of thinking about and understanding something - aptly interpreted as the idea of seeing things differently. In photography it’s about the sense of depth and space - a means for the photographer to introduce you to a new way of seeing.
After months of intermittent visits from Virginia, my perspective was mired in misery, angst and wallowing self-pity. It seemed impossible to imagine my life at 59, 60 and then 70 being vibrant, active, still teaching and practicing photography - doing all the things I love.
I knew I needed to shift my thinking, change my perspective. Stop dwelling on ‘what if’ and all the other possibilities beyond my control. Easier said than done.
What would you do? How do you shift your perspective, put on rose coloured glasses when all around seems to be doomed?
Finding grace amidst the chaos
It is here once again, I discover - remember, photography is in my bones.
I may have meandered the pits of my subconscious hell much longer, if not for a little grace. A friendly voice breaking through the chaos - a reminder to let go, release what is not in my control.
In truth it came from a friend gently nudging me to practice what I preach - to give myself the grace I so openly encourage in others.
It might come as a surprise. My toughest moments weren’t the dogged days navigating the height of vertigo symptoms.
The greatest consequence appeared on the in between days - where fear and self-doubt raged. Those moments when I was just beginning to believe I had banished Virginia for good.
It was in these ‘in between’ days, I would wander into the yard - sometimes a little beyond. Struck by the light, how it changed the blah to beguiling, I’d lose myself in my camera.
It is here once again, I discover - remember, photography is in my bones.
“Grant yourself the grace that it is okay to not be okay”
Where reality and perspective coincide
As a photographer, it’s hard to imagine a life without my camera. The ability to escape into a world of my own making is where I have unfurled and discovered my creative self. It’s where healing, passion and purpose collide.
It’s here I discover gratitude for Virginia. Out of the chaos emerges understanding. A deeper knowing and commitment to sharing photography with others in all the ways I can. Virginia betrays my lingering self-doubt, my own resistance to identifying myself as a photographer, a teacher, a creative.
A collection of photos I captured on the ‘in between days’
In the words of Henry David Thoreau, “It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." Virginia is a mere symbol of some deeper resistance to believing ‘I am enough’. I can claim my space as a photographer.
A little help from the Universe never hurts - synchronicity delivers a not so subtle message - a top 50 placement in my first ever panelled photo entry - check out the photos that made the cut here.
How has perspective played a role in your life? How can you challenge your perspective to see things just a little bit differently, to open your world of possibilities?
I’d love to hear what comes up for you when you read this post. You can share with me privately at donna@donnakoch.com. I love reading your emails - and yes - I read them all.
If this got you thinking, you might also like…
A Matter of Perspective
Why I am Waging War With Resistance
How to Stop ‘Never Good Enough’ in it’s Tracks