Was 2024 Just an Unhappy Accident?
I’m looking back at the year just passed, struggling to make sense of the paths that got me here - the arrival of a new year.
It all started when my life partner Hugh shared his own review of the year - a collection of moments and events highlighted in his journal and calendar. Some we shared, some were his alone. So of course, I decided to do the same. Read Hugh’s take on the year
What I discovered
Large blocks of my calendar are eaten up with ‘volunteer’ and ‘board’ commitments. Now, don’t get me wrong - these are all things I love to do. But what really stands out is how much of the year simply ‘happened’. Instead of living my life by design it feels like a life by default. I wrote about this very thing in 2023.
My auto pilot kicks in and an old familiar voice suggests, “Pull up your big girl panties, give your head a shake and…”. Instead, I pause - allow for a gentle nudge, reflect a little deeper. I see more clearly - the things that formed my year, the moments that stand out.
What made my 2024 noteworthy list?
When I look at the list, I notice some things were intentional, others were not.
The first few months were wrapped up in kitchen renovations. We love our new kitchen but it doesn’t make the list. You might find it surprising what did. It’s not big accomplishments or endless joy filled moments - though, joy did leave its mark.
Celebrating and connecting with family
It was the year of my parents 60th wedding anniversary. Not ones to be the centre of attention, my sisters and I had to find a way of celebrating them, of sharing some small token of appreciation for all they have created for us, for family.
It’s our first stop - having just checked into our motel in Canmore - sitting on the queen size bed across from my parents. My dad lovingly jokes, “I didn’t expect my oldest daughter to invite herself on our second honeymoon.”
Truth be told, I did invite myself. My intentions were pure (and practical). It was a long drive. I had the flexibility. I’d never been to the birthplace of my Granny, the resting place of her ancestors including her mother and 9 year old sister.
Fast forward to sitting in the car, me in the driver seat, dad in the passenger, mom in the back. The flat land of the Canadian prairies rolling past the windscreen. Mom and dad pass the map to and fro, struggling to trust in Google Maps. Ian Tyson and George Jones serenade in the background and I wonder why I’m here. To be the driver, to bear witness and share precious time with the two people who brought me into the world.
It is a trip I will never forget, a moment I cherish forever and a memory without regret. Read more about regret here.
The celebration continues when we arrive back home. First a dinner out - my sisters and spouses - it’s our turn to look out for them. Followed a week later with a simple family dinner in the backyard. A special surprise for ‘Grandma and Grandpa’ - all 7 grandchildren, significant others and their first great grand baby, gathered in love.
Grieving for myself and those I love
Death was an unwelcome guest in my 2024 (and for those I love). It began with the death of Hughs’ (former) mother-in-law. A woman he loved dearly, cherished spending time with and felt her loss deeply. Evident in her celebration of life (shared with her earlier deceased husband) - they had both lived a good life.
Not 2 months later, the ping of my phone - a text from my dear friend of over 50 years. Her sister, her hero, her longest friend tragically taken. Her sudden untimely death, a heavy toll to bear. My heart aches for her loss, for her family, for all that will be missed. I feel a deep helplessness - knowing I can’t undo, I can’t fix.
A precious gift presented itself last year - a deeper knowing of why I was put on this earth. My purpose in life continues to evolve, steeped in making a difference. Kindness, generosity and gratitude are my guiding light. Practicing my purpose not only with others, but with myself, first is where I find joy, love and hope in the midst of sadness, turmoil and despair.
“Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be; embrace who you are.” ~ Brené Brown ~
It’s a beautiful summer day in July. I’ve just arrived at my parents' house, following lunch with my sister. My phone buzzes, this time from a dear friend of over 30 years. The text makes no sense. She’s on her way to the hospital, following the ambulance with her husband inside. He collapsed at home, having just returned from his annual birthday hike with his daughter.
It can’t possibly be. A massive and fatal heart attack on his 59th birthday. The husband of my dear friend, the father of my one and only god-daughter. My friend. I am in disbelief and this time, despair consumes me.
It would be easy to let 2024 be marred forever by his death. Instead I choose to cherish his presence - celebrate his life and how it intertwined with mine. So we did - my dear friend, my precious and beautiful god-daughter and many friends. We remembered and celebrated all that he was. It still hurts, witnessing their grief, allowing space for my own.
Taking care of what matters most
My year was riddled with illness interspersed with endless episodes of vertigo. It became clear to me something needed to change. My body is rebelling against the vision I hold as I enter the last year of my fifties - to experience peak wellness into my next decade.
Enter another dear friend, newer and equally loved. An avid researcher, she promotes ‘Vibrant Aging’. For months I followed her (you can too here), secretly working up the courage to ask her to be my wellness coach. Two missed opportunities and months after her saying yes, I’m left to wonder, “What took you so long?”.
So what was stopping me? It turns out, I had a little more work to do. That pesky inner voice - you know the one. I had to turn down the “I’m not worthy” and crank up the “F*ck that, let’s do this”.
The highlight of my year truly is No Small Thing. For five years Hugh and I talked, dreamt and fueled our desire to create something together. To combine our talents, our interests, our hearts desire - to make a difference.
Setting out to equal our own donation, witnessing the generosity of our community - we have raised $2500 toward a goal of $10K. Our vision is coming to fruition - to get 20 more kids off the couch, off the phone and into the outdoors. It’s just the beginning and I can’t wait to see what happens next.
In reality, my 2024 was a year of loss and sorrow intermixed with moments of joy and gratitude. A little reminder that life is precious, we must not waste a moment and - SH*T HAPPENS!
“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.” ~ Michael Altshuler ~
I enter 2025 with more intention, a focus on self-care, remembering to receive as well as give and to create balance between the two.
I’d love to hear about your year, the one in the rearview mirror or the one up ahead and just around the corner. Share it with me here if you wish.
ღ Donna ღ
You might enjoy related posts I’ve shared previously:
What Makes for an Extraordinary Life
Why I Think Goal Setting Sucks
75 Days to Live an Extraordinary Life